I think this may be the most personal post I have ever written but I am hoping my experiences help others in a similar situation!
In 2014 I found out I was pregnant and although I had only just turned 19 two months earlier and was still in college I was beyond excited. I knew I wanted to be a Mum ever since I was little, yes maybe a little earlier than expected but I couldn’t have been happier. When I found out I was having identical twin boys that just enhanced my excitement x100!
But, of course due to my age I did experience a fair bit of crap so lets have a look and a laugh at some of the ridiculousness I had to put up with as a teen mum-to-be.
Most of us are familiar with the saying ‘If looks could kill’ well I experienced many ‘If looks could make you feel guilty for being unmarried, under the age of 30 and pregnant’. Honestly I did get a lot of these but luckily for me they were all from strangers: shop keepers, passersby, ultrasound technicians, people my own age etc.
People love to be nosy, especially with the size of my bump (even from early on) and my young face. The thing you need to remember with these types of stares is that sometimes they don’t even realise they are doing it. The way I dealt with this is I would simply smile at the person gazing at my belly, more often than not they would sheepishly smile back and instantly look away.
‘How old are you exactly?’
‘Better you than me!’
‘How did your parents react when you told them you are pregnant? I bet they were furious, because I would be!’
‘Are you going to get married before the baby is born?’
‘You wont know whats hit you when that kid is here’
‘Say goodbye to your freedom!’
‘Oh I am so pleased that I went to university, travelled, built a career and bought a house before I had kids’
and so on, again all from strangers. I am actually laughing remembering these, so can we all just take a moment to laugh together at these?! Again, I never ever took these comments to heart because these people don’t know me.. so who are they really to judge?
I am going to do a separate post on my birth story but when my boys were born they did end up in the NICU due to being premature. They where in there 10 days in total as apposed to my own 5 day hospital stay. Even when I was discharged I was with those boys from sunrise to almost midnight everyday, because of this I did pretty much everything for them while in hospital. The nurse that mainly cared for the boys while I wasn’t there was a teen mum herself and she was absolutely amazing, she knew I could cope with the boys and wouldn’t stop complimenting me on how good I was doing.
But I do remember the first day after the boys were born, I was reeling from the birth and wasn’t sure on what I could and couldn’t do with my babies due to them being in the NICU. This one nurse was so rude and it was the only thing that upset me during the whole pregnancy and after the birth. She asked for my date of birth and actually tutted and every question I asked she would roll her eyes like I should already know the answer. SO me being my sassy stubborn self of course would not allow such energy around myself and my newborns and she quickly realised this and left me to it.
This is of course my own recollection of what it was like being a young mum and I am sure I was just unlucky with this experience, she could have been having a bad day etc but this does not mean you will have the same experience. If it does so happen to you, please don’t allow any of this to effect you negatively as you know how amazing of a parent you will be. I would also like to point out it wasn’t just me that experienced this, the boys dad did too as we are the same age. Make sure you stand up for yourself like we did!
I am blessed to have such a supportive family and all these negative points came to me from strangers, just remember you as a parent are all your baby needs and you should never allow someone else’s attitude ruin this outlook.
If you have any more experiences to add to the list please comment below, or if you have any questions please ask away!